Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Movies I've Seen (Recently) The best of the week centers on an apocryphal sex act?

Ratings determined using a five blood drop scale.

Yes the stolen clipart used to classify Sick Girl is a steaming pile of poo. The thin tale of a disturbed teenage girl who seeks vengeance against a trio of bullies bamboozled me via its slick cover art and numerous fangoria ads into giving up 83 minutes of my life. Well the trickery stops there. I will not waste another moment on this turd except to say it sucks, sucks, sucks.

Donkey punch [dong-kee puhnch]
to give a sharp thrust or blow to the back of your partner's head or neck while engaged in the act of sex.

You know the story: three promiscuous girls meet four sex-crazed guys at a Mediterranean resort and make plans to set off on a luxury yacht where they engage in hours of violent sex before the token nerd of the group punches his partner in the back of the neck accidentally ending her life and the party in the process.
This violent, graphic, sex-filled thriller is much better than it should be. There is nary a likable character in the group, which is of service to the filthy narrative, and if you can get past the ridiculous setup, is quite thrilling. A well-executed exploitationer.
Mild-mannered Tony has an unusual pair of hobbies: his time is split between viewing mindless action fare on his 13 inch teevee (a reference to Gary Busey's Hider in the House caused me to chuckle with glee) and killing people.

Interesting in concept - a non judgmental examination of a damaged human being - yet lacking impact. I was reminded of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer throughout. I didn't love that film either but I will be the first to admit its honest approach and disturbing observations resulted in a truly compelling movie experience.
Tony fails to enter the psyche of its protagonist, instead forcing us to watch his crimes from a distance. In the end, I was left to wonder whether the apathetic nature of the character was a conscious choice on the part of the director or an indication of his artistic limitations.


Sam and company retreat to a lake-side cottage for a little R and R and discover a terrifying secret about the water.

This is one blah horror pic. Dimwitted characters provide cannon fodder for a humdrum ghost while some asinine mystery unfolds around them.