Pompeii

I wanted so much for Pompeii to be good. I had a great response prepared. Go ahead, ask me what I thought of Pompeii. "It was a blast." What, too corny? Too cheesy? So is Paul W.S. Anderson’s tawdry historical epic about a gladiator who falls for the object of an evil Roman’s infatuation. Consider a scene that sees Jack and Rose arguing over who will take a spot on the raft before succumbing to hypothermia. Wrong movie? I meant a scene that sees our gladiator squabbling with his love over who will take the horse while a river of molten lava bears down on them. The movie wasn’t as awful as most are claiming. It was watchable in the way those sci-fi channel retreads of superior genre flicks are watchable. If it was an SAT question, it would read like one of those annoying analogies: Marshmallow Mateys is to Lucky Charms as Pompeii is to Gladiator. I expected so much more Jon Snow.